Connecting to the World

I am starting to put together the Summer WCBCF E-Newsletter.

I got an amazing article from Dr. Alfred Kangolle from Tanzania. He writes about the challenges they face in dealing with Cancer in his country.

A key challenge is resources. Tanzania is a country of about 45 million people, has only one hospital, the Ocean Road Cancer Institute (ORCI), specialized in treating cancer. There is one oncologist.

Awareness is another huge challenge, especially with the numbers of cancer diagnosis on the rise. 75-80% of women who seek attention at ORCI have advanced breast cancer. We know the key to beating breast cancer is to catch it in the early stages. With so many women seeking treatment so at such an advance state of disease, you can imagine the outcome for thousands of women is not good.

World Conference on Breast Cancer Foundation has been working with countries like Tanzania to help them connect to resources so that they are better equipped to deal with many of their challenges.

To sign up for the WCBCF e-Newletter click here

Day of Mourning

Today is the national Day of Mourning held annually on April 28th in Canada. This day is to commemorate those workers who have lost their lives on the job.

Canada was the first country to recognize the day formally and today, 26 years later, the Day of Mourning is observed throughout the world in about 80 countries.

Last year 161 men and women, of all ages, went to work and did not come home in British Columbia. Every one of those deaths were preventable.

It is tragic when anyone is injured on the job and an even greater tragedy that someone could lose their life.

At 11 AM today, take a moment to honour and remember those who have fallen.

For more information go to WorkSafeBC.com

Hockey Playoffs

So our house is filled with NHL Hockey play-offs right now. Dave (my partner), Anthony (his son) and Bianca (who boarded with us during her first year at school) where all squashed on the sofa – riveted to the game – screaming their brains out every time the Canucks scored.

I am thinking I must not be a true Canadian because I don’t care about hockey or the playoffs. Shh – don’t tell anyone. I think if I just keep bringing the snacks, I can give the allusion of being a fellow hockey devotee.

Unfortunately, if I want to watch TV, the alternative is to spend the time watching endless re-runs of the ‘Suite Life of Zach and Cody’ with Arden, my 12 year old daughter. I am not sure what is worse?

Maybe I will just clean the bathroom.

Choices

My partner's son is back from university. So glad to have him home. I have really missed him. He has had a very interesting year year away from home. When you are in another city living amongst people your own age, you are presented with many choices and decisions.

Over dinner we were talking about a broad variety of things, including the choices we make throughout our lives. It occurred to me that the young really have no concept at all of how the choices they make in the present can really impact their lives much later. I knew that many kids have the "it will never happen to me" perspective. I had it too in my teens and early 20s.

I had no idea that smoking while my breasts were forming would increase my chances of breast cancer. Statistics and research are now saying it could increase a women's chances by as much at 70%. If I had heard that at 16 - I often wonder if it may have changed my destiny?

Although there is significant benefits to living life in the present, we some how have to instill the knowledge that some things that can appear harmless, have far reaching consequences. If anyone has figured out how to get a teen to listen - I would love to hear from you - or maybe we just keep talking and hope that something sticks.

Inner Calm

I always find it funny that when things are in total chaos I seem to find this inner calm. Work is crazy, the kids activities are keeping everyone running, training, fundraising, school, chores....

I should be completely overwhelmed (and there are momentary fizzles), but for the most part I just face what ever is in front of me and just deal with it.

I have seen many women faced with a diagnosis find this inner calm. I do not know if it is resolve, acceptance, resignation, determination or what?

I have just learned another friend has just had a biopsy. She is already a survivor. We were hoping to celebrate a major milestone of being in the 'clear'.

I talked to her yesterday. There was that inner calm again, or at least her outer self was putting on a very good facade. The inside might have been screaming, stamping feet, tearing hair and spewing tears and snot. If it was - that is ok too.

She will learn the results next week. I really hope they are negative and we can celebrate that milestone with added enthusiasm.

Going to Hamilton

Plans are being finalized for the World Conference on Breast Cancer Board meeting in Hamilton. We will be there to mark the 1 year count down to the conference.

If you don't already picked up the Twitter feed, you might want to, because I am sure my fellow Board member, Melissa, will be tweeting all weekend.

http://twitter.com/wcbcf

What is your story?

I went to the opening of Cancer Connections yesterday. I was amazing. Each image was accompanied by a personal story. Some were funny. Some courageous. Others upbeat and happy. While a few where heart wrenching.

One of the speakers talked about who she was before cancer. She said she did not want cancer to define her. It is peculiar that when you ask a cancer survivor about their story they start at the diagnosis. I even did it starting this blog.

It reminded me of a chemo nurse I had. I used to call her Rhinestone Kate, because she loved to wear her glittery rhinestone encrusted glasses.

During my very first intravenous chemo treatment I watched the red drug slither through the clear tube, racing toward my fresh vein, and squeeze through the needle. I felt the initial burn as the drug bit into me and I went into a bit of a melt down.

The enormity of what was happening to me came to me in that fleeting second. Kate jumped in with, "So what is your story?" She did not mean my cancer story - that was sort of obvious - she meant my life story. It was also her way of keeping me distracted. We were laughing in no time at all.

I did have a life before cancer - a very interesting - full life. I still do. Don't forget your story.

Strength

I am very excited about tomorrow. I am attending the opening of Cancer Connections, a photography show that features people touched by cancer and their stories.

I know that sometimes when you have had cancer you just want to get away from it. Others connected through the disease turn to others like them for inspiration and hope.

For people who have not had cancer they may reach out because people they love have it, had it, have been lost to it or have beat it.

For as hideous and devastating as a disease like cancer is - it connects us. I cannot count the number of amazing relationships that I have formed with others because I had a few cells in my breast that decided not to play nice.

Many people see cancer as a curse. I am almost embarrassed to admit it but cancer for me - was a blessing (as long as it doesn't kill me). I have re-focused my priorities and learned to live life with Passion.

The beautiful thing about tomorrow's show is I will be there standing beside my image that is in the show - called 'Strength', taken by my friend WendyD (shown in this entry). All of the visible ravages of my disease are gone today.

It is almost like cancer is my secret now - - - well except I am blogging about it so millions can see. I guess the cat is out of the bag.

Too much exercise!

I went trotting off to the gym this morning. I was very enthusiastic. I have decided that since I am going in the Seek the Peek relay again I need to push myself a little harder each time or I will never get conditioned.

I did the treadmill to start - like I always do.

I then increased the speed a little. That was ok.

Then I thought, "you know this race is up hill, I probably should increase the incline". First 3% - hmmm that feels ok.

Up to 5% - ok that is a bit harder, but my heart is not going to jump out of my chest.

Let's cranker up to 8% - oooooooooh - cramp in butt - cramp in butt. Get the incline down to 0% - fast!

I finished on the treadmill (thank goodness I did not shoot off of the end of it) and started my weights. A little more tired than I normally would be at this point I decided that I was finished with the 'pushing it' today.

Got home and the day was glorious, so I decided to get the garden prepped for the summer. I turned soil, planted bulbs, sowed seeds, mowed the lawn, swept the walk and pulled some weeds. I feel great(ish) - Is that a word?

The day is young I think I will haul all of my summer clothes out and put away the winter clothes. It is only two Rubbermaid bins but they are heavy and I have to lug them up from the studio (which is about 6 stairs to many).

I am all done, whew! Poured a glass of wine and frankly the only thing that does not hurt is my hair. I am going to take a sip of wine and go lay on the floor now - ok?

Need a massage.

You Savvy?

When I was in trouble as a child, which was rather often as I was a curious girl who loved adventure, my Father would give me a stern talking too. He often could dissolve me to tears with a look alone. After my admonishment my father would always ask me, "savvy?"

I had no idea what 'savvy' was - I just knew that I needed to remorsefully nod my head and reply, "savvy Dad". He would then give my one of his loving bone crushing hugs and we would go happily on our way. I adored my Dad (and still do).

I of course I later learned that 'savvy' meant to comprehend or understand. My dad is from Northern England so he use to use all kinds of words that are not typically used in Canada.

Well 'savvy' took on a whole new meaning for me yesterday, although it is spelled 'SAVI'. This is a revolutionary new radiation therapy that will have plastic surgeons who do breast construction dancing in their scrubs and snapping their latex gloves across the OR with joy.

I told you a while back that a friend had calcification detected on her mammogram. She originally thought that it was precancerous cells, but it turns out that it was not. She has had a lumpectomy and they are using a SAVI to deliver radiation to the localized site.

The SAVI Breast Brachytherapy Device, provides breast cancer radiation treatment from inside the breast.

This is why the Plastic Surgeons will be happy, because rather than having to deal with radiated breast tissue that ends up looking and feeling like a Rubbermaid bowl (flexible but tough), the tissue is saved from the effects of the treatment - only the lumpectomy cavity gets nuked.

This is so cool!!!! It is also quite new and not widely available. My friend, who I am now calling 'Jane the Conqueror' is fortunate to be living in Texas where it is available.

The Training Begins

Well it is confirmed! I am nuts! I have agreed to do the Seek the Peak Relay again.

This is a run/walk or should I say stumble/gasp, that starts at Ambleside beach in West Vancouver and goes up to the top of Grouse Mountain. The whole route is 19km - all up hill.

This is the third year I am participating. I do it with two other Breast Cancer survivors and a supporter, whos Mom had Breast Cancer. This is not a walk in the park so I have to start training now. The run is on the first weekend in July.

I figure if I can beat Breast Cancer a little mountain can't stop me.

One step at a time.

A Picture Speaks

There is a photography show that has been traveling across the country called Cancer Connections. It started in Toronto on May 20, 2008 and will be opening here in Vancouver on April 20th.

The photos in the show are submitted by photographers from all over. My friend and photographer, Wendy D, submitted a photo of me that we took while I was in treatment.

The pictures are nothing short of amazing, each one speaks and tells a unique story. The images are a true testament to the power of the human spirit.

Stories in Black & White

Feeling STAR struck

We had a Board meeting on Monday. All of the committee leads gave updates on their progress. I cannot believe how much has already been done. This is all very exciting.

I can not leak too much but there have been some very interesting developments on the Medical advisory front. I also heard there are a few celebrities out there who are interested in what we are doing.

Can't wait to share. Schedules of the famous being what they are it may or may not work out. If it does and things are confirmed - I can give you hints to let you guess - or not.

Sunshine and soil

Getting more vitamin D today.

Out in the garden getting the soil turned over and the seeds in. There is something rewarding about planting a garden and watching it grow.

Love flowers.

Did you miss me?

Sorry about the lapse in posts. It has been a crazy busy week between family, work and volunteering.

We have a Health and Wellness program at work. The whole idea is to try to achieve life balance daily. Every day you are supposed to do things to earn Wellness points (to a total of 3 per day). So for example how I might earn my 3 points in a day might include:

1. Car pool and save the environment
2. Laugh my freak'n head off and build endorphins
3. Eat so many vegetables I create my own personal methane plant (I guess that might counter the environment saving)

Each month we also have a 'Bonus' project. This month is volunteering. Each participant is asked to give 4 hours of their time during the month of April. I earned my total hours required in the first 4 hours of April. I was making and cutting our Car Wash tickets (all 600) for a school fundraiser.

Can't wait to get soaked :)

Need a car wash?

Could it be stress?

In my last post I talk about confidence. I think confidence is about your perception of yourself and really has nothing to do with anyone else. Although, I often wonder if it was stress that eroded my confidence.

Just before (and following) diagnosis, I went through a lot of stressful life changing events.

Here is what some of the experts say say are the top causes of stress (the experts vary but they are generally similar):

1. Death of a loved one
2. Divorce
3. Marriage
4. Jail Term
5. Injury or Illness
6. Fired from job
7. Retirement
8. Financial problems
9. Moving
10. Buying a house

I went through a divorce, moved, lost my job, got sick, was running out of money, started a new relationship, moved again, got a new job, bought a house, moved one more time and had a young daughter to care for all through this.

When I realized what was on the list, I told my Dad he was not allowed to die. I was too young to retire. And incarceration was out of the question - that would have just tipped the cow.

I don't remember being stressed.

The job I ended up going into was for significantly less money than I had been making and was role I had been in 15 years earlier in my career. My director asked me why I would take a job like this when I had experience to get something much better.

I could only think of one thing to say, "I lost a marriage, I lost a job, I lost a breast and I lost my confidence".

I knew that I had to get it together. I had a little girl depending on me. Slowly the confidence came back. I am not sure how - perhaps pure suborn will. Maybe it was just survival.

When I say I am a survivor - I am not talking about breast cancer.

Confidence

So how is it that we are bouncing along all full of life, no cares, lots of confidence and then BANG we hit 12 and our self esteem hits the floor?

Shopping for my daughter’s grade 7 year end dress at the second hand store was not the usual adventure of fun, imagination and stories. She did not want to look for a dress, she certainly did not want to try anything on and no stories about previous owners were going to be told (read the last entry where I explain this).

A friend and her 14 year old daughter had joined us (thank goodness). The girls wandered through the store laughing and picking up household items. I finally convinced the girls to join us in the clothing by threatening them with the statement that I would not leave the store until at least one dress was tried on. Ugh.

We started combing through the dresses. The 14 year old kept finding really cute dresses and handing them to my daughter, who out right rejected them, pulling faces and pretending to barf. She finally settled on two and dragged herself to the change room.

She emerged in one dress, shoulders slumped forward, dower look on her face. She looked like she was going to cry. I shuffled her back into the change room, with encouragement. The next dress, her body language was happier – but not by much. The 14 year old cooed over this one and I could see the deflated self esteem filling up with every word of praise. The teen grabbed a little shrug sweater and the look was complete.

Later we tried to get some shoes. We settled on high tops. It looks really funky and really represents how unique, funny and wonderful she is. I hope her confidence stays with her so she will go through with the look.

P.S. in the car on the way home my daughter told me a young Japanese girl named Yoko previously owned the dress and had worn it on her first date with the man she ended up marrying. My little girl is still there she is just trapped inside a teenager.