Making Less Time For Dirty Socks

I have always had an interest in the spiritual side of our existence and do believe that some people are more sensitive to spiritual energies than others. Whether they can correctly interpret those energies is another discussion. So from time to time I like to see a psychic to satisfy my interest. I don't plan my life around what they say or change my direction, but I do sometimes pick out some of the nuggets they provide.

I don't know if I mentioned that when I was up at Whistler I went to see a psychic. One, of many, things my psychic told me was that my life was very busy doing stuff for everyone else (I know that is pretty much every woman). She said I am feeling overwhelmed and consumed by the demands of others. She added that I need to slow down, let some stuff go and do something for myself. Specifically something creative.

My life is crazy right now with so many competing demands and every demand is as important as the next. It is a matter of shuffling priorities. Unfortunately, I become the lowest on the priority list. I think about things I want to do for myself, then something else gets in the way. I don't feel overwhelmed but I do sometimes feel frustrated that I am not doing things for myself.

I have tried to let some stuff go - you know ... things like laundry. When the mountain of dirty socks just about tumbled on to me as I walked into the laundry room - I realized that was probably NOT one of the things I should let go.

What I have let go of is caring about things that are not that important - like the fact there was a mountain of dirty socks. Dirty socks won't start a war, cause an time rift or ecological disaster. They are just there waiting. So rather than jumping on them the moment they fall - I let them wait a little longer so I can spend time in my studio working on my stained glass or go for a walk on the sea wall.

I am making less time for the dirt socks and more time for me.

Could it be stress?

In my last post I talk about confidence. I think confidence is about your perception of yourself and really has nothing to do with anyone else. Although, I often wonder if it was stress that eroded my confidence.

Just before (and following) diagnosis, I went through a lot of stressful life changing events.

Here is what some of the experts say say are the top causes of stress (the experts vary but they are generally similar):

1. Death of a loved one
2. Divorce
3. Marriage
4. Jail Term
5. Injury or Illness
6. Fired from job
7. Retirement
8. Financial problems
9. Moving
10. Buying a house

I went through a divorce, moved, lost my job, got sick, was running out of money, started a new relationship, moved again, got a new job, bought a house, moved one more time and had a young daughter to care for all through this.

When I realized what was on the list, I told my Dad he was not allowed to die. I was too young to retire. And incarceration was out of the question - that would have just tipped the cow.

I don't remember being stressed.

The job I ended up going into was for significantly less money than I had been making and was role I had been in 15 years earlier in my career. My director asked me why I would take a job like this when I had experience to get something much better.

I could only think of one thing to say, "I lost a marriage, I lost a job, I lost a breast and I lost my confidence".

I knew that I had to get it together. I had a little girl depending on me. Slowly the confidence came back. I am not sure how - perhaps pure suborn will. Maybe it was just survival.

When I say I am a survivor - I am not talking about breast cancer.