Confidence

So how is it that we are bouncing along all full of life, no cares, lots of confidence and then BANG we hit 12 and our self esteem hits the floor?

Shopping for my daughter’s grade 7 year end dress at the second hand store was not the usual adventure of fun, imagination and stories. She did not want to look for a dress, she certainly did not want to try anything on and no stories about previous owners were going to be told (read the last entry where I explain this).

A friend and her 14 year old daughter had joined us (thank goodness). The girls wandered through the store laughing and picking up household items. I finally convinced the girls to join us in the clothing by threatening them with the statement that I would not leave the store until at least one dress was tried on. Ugh.

We started combing through the dresses. The 14 year old kept finding really cute dresses and handing them to my daughter, who out right rejected them, pulling faces and pretending to barf. She finally settled on two and dragged herself to the change room.

She emerged in one dress, shoulders slumped forward, dower look on her face. She looked like she was going to cry. I shuffled her back into the change room, with encouragement. The next dress, her body language was happier – but not by much. The 14 year old cooed over this one and I could see the deflated self esteem filling up with every word of praise. The teen grabbed a little shrug sweater and the look was complete.

Later we tried to get some shoes. We settled on high tops. It looks really funky and really represents how unique, funny and wonderful she is. I hope her confidence stays with her so she will go through with the look.

P.S. in the car on the way home my daughter told me a young Japanese girl named Yoko previously owned the dress and had worn it on her first date with the man she ended up marrying. My little girl is still there she is just trapped inside a teenager.