Things are not always as they appear

Sorry for the laps in entries - this week has been a bad one. As I told you the chemo was hitting me rather hard which I found very surprising because it was nothing like this the first time around. Well I was surprised to learn last Tuesday that my appendix decided it would be perfect timing to explode.

When my oncologist told me he thought it was my appendix I just looked at him in total disbelief and said, “You have got to be freak’n kidding me”. Well I gotta tell you – I think that all of the energy, hopes and prayers all of my supporters have all been sending my way have definitely aligned the stars and sent in the spiritual support because the timing of everything lined up so that I am here to write another blog entry. I also am convinced now that surviving this is concrete proof that I still have something to accomplish in this world.

This whole adventure has put my chemo treatment on hold for a bit. The surgeons still feel I am at significant risk of infection so they don’t want chemo plummeting my white cells and neutrophils again until I am fully healed. I will find out on Wednesday when I see the oncologist what they want to do next.

I have to tell you on on day three in the hospital I really felt like I was giving up hope – I was in pain, crashing from all of the anesthetic and so full of meds I could not rally myself. I was sinking into a full blown pity party.

My nurse came into see me who was an amazing individual who got me talking and she shared too – she works part time in the hospital, teaches at a local university and from time to time goes to developing or in transition countries to do volunteer work .

Last Christmas she went to India to spend Christmas with orphans. She wanted these kids to feel loved and special through a time that is so focused on family. It made me realize that in the big picture what I am dealing with is really quite small. There are so many with nothing and I have so much.

I am blessed, humbled and so grateful for all of the support and encouragement my circle provides.